A guide on how to write your own wedding promises
Crafting personal wedding promises offers a meaningful opportunity to express your unique love story and commitment in your own authentic voice. Beyond traditional vows, these heartfelt words become treasured memories that capture the essence of your relationship. While the blank page might seem intimidating at first, the process of writing your promises can be a beautiful journey of reflection, one that deepens your connection and creates a truly unforgettable moment during your ceremony.
They’re your chance to transform “I do” into “I promise to always walk the dog when it’s raining” or “I vow to never claim I’m ‘fine’ when I’m actually upset.” Check out Jonny’s amazing word to start you off. Sarah’s follow below. To see more of their wedding, head over to the blog.
Introduction
Writing your own wedding promises (or vows) is a beautiful way to personalise your ceremony and express your unique commitment to your partner. These heartfelt words will become one of the most meaningful moments of your wedding day, as captured in the images of couples sharing their first dance or special moments with loved ones.
Reflect on your relationship
- Journey Together: Set aside time to reflect on your love story, how you met, significant milestones, challenges overcome, and moments that defined your relationship.
- Create a Memory List: Write down specific memories, inside jokes, and meaningful experiences that capture the essence of your bond.
- Identify Core Values: Consider what principles are most important in your relationship (honesty, support, adventure, growth, etc.) and how these shape your commitment.
Decide on structure and tone
- Length: Aim for vows that take 1-2 minutes to recite (approximately 250-300 words).
- Tone: Determine if you want your vows to be primarily serious, include humour, or blend both approaches.
- Format Options:
- Narrative style (telling your love story)
- List of promises (“I promise to…”)
- Question and answer format
- Combination approach
Draft your content
- Opening: Begin with a direct address to your partner that sets the emotional tone.
- Reflection: Share what your partner means to you and why you’ve chosen them as your life partner.
- Promises: Make specific, meaningful commitments about how you’ll support and love them through life’s journey.
- Future Vision: Express your hopes and dreams for your life together.
- Conclusion: End with a powerful statement of love and commitment.
Writing tips
- Be Authentic: Use language and expressions that sound like you, this isn’t the time for unnatural formality.
- Be Specific: Include details that are unique to your relationship rather than generic statements.
- Balance Emotion and Practicality: Mix heartfelt sentiments with realistic promises you can keep.
- Consider Coordination: Decide whether you’ll write completely separate vows or follow a similar structure.
- Edit Ruthlessly: Remove clichés, unnecessary words, and overly complex sentences.
Practical considerations on how to write your own wedding promises
- Practice Aloud: Rehearse speaking your vows until they feel natural and comfortable.
- Time Yourself: Ensure your vows stay within the planned length.
- Create Backup Copies: Have your vows printed on nice paper or cards, with backup copies available.
- Consider Visibility: Choose a format that’s easy to read during the ceremony (large font, numbered points).
- Discuss Privacy: Decide together whether you want to share vows privately before the wedding or keep them as a surprise.
How to write your own wedding promises – Examples to inspire
Traditional elements you can incorporate:
- “I take you to be my husband/wife/spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward…”
- “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…”
- “Until death do us part”
Modern promise structures:
- “I promise to… I vow to… I will always…”
- “I love the way you… I cherish your…”
- “With you, I am… Without you, I would not…”
Head on over to Marcus Ward Films to see some examples of highlight films which incorporate wedding promises in their structure.
Final checks
Before finalising your vows, review them with these questions in mind:
- Do they sound like you?
- Are they meaningful and specific to your relationship?
- Have you included promises you can realistically keep?
- Will they resonate with your partner and reflect your unique bond?
- Do they capture the essence of your commitment moving forward?
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way when planning how to write your own wedding promises. The most beautiful vows are those that genuinely express your love and commitment in a way that feels true to who you are as a couple.
